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Thursday, 27 January 2011

Holy Macaroni.

Dont know why thats the title. i just like the sound of it.

But im going into Inpatient tomorrow :'( oh god! im so scared!!
going to try and recover, i know ill refuse to eat at first. but im hoping ill change my ways and getbetter... hopefully.
its all a little bit too scary! ive been in there before, but the staf have changed because the old ones were 'pushovers' so its going to be really hard.
wish me luck.
love you all!

Thursday, 20 January 2011


Hope youre all ok lovlies!
i had my pre admission today for inpatient. im going in next friday.
Im really going to try to recover, and the ward has a dog called cass.
and theyve said im allowed to take my dog max on for abit to settle me in, which im so happy about!
I need to pack my things, my bedroom is going to be so empty!
ill take a before and after shot, of how it looks and post it on here.

Im allowed my mobile on the ward, so im hoping ill be able to post on here from on there!
take care lovlies!

kay.dancer<3 xxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, 18 January 2011


i overdosed on sunday night and my mam found me. she phoned 999 and landed me in the hospital.
I hate her for it to be honest. my auntie keeps saying 'youll see one day how grateful you are for her rining them'
but i dont care. i dont deserve to live.
id take another one, but my parents have hidden everythingggg.
Any way i got let out of the hospital earlier on today.
They had me on a heart monitor all night the first night, and then on a drip for a while. But because i was in the adults ward and not in for my ed they didnt make me eat. yay.
Also a friend i met on facebook who has anorexia came to see me as she was in the hospital next door, she was allowed out for a bit but was ment to stay on the grounds hehe. awh well.
my mam had to go to work earlier, and my gran even came round to sit with me so i didnt do anything. bleaugh.
My councellor is coming to see me tomorrow morning at 10am. then im getting pre admitted to the newberry hospical (ed clinic) on thursday.
I just dont want to think about it at the moment.

Friday, 7 January 2011

byebye kaylie.

so i was at the hospital today, theyve put me on a inpatient programme, i have to go next week to meet the staff and look around. ive been there twice before but its a new building and new staff :(
and i got no phone signal there at all. Phones are banned anyway, but i plan on sneaking mine in.
ill update again before i go in. and will as soon as i can! or when i get allowed home for a day or night :)
(mabye even sneakily go on the computer at hospital).  (yn)

i love shannice so much. shes a darling! <3 and always cheeres me up.
and Taylor! for making that thread on pt! i wasnt expecting that, im glad i read it after this bad news, it  cheered me up  :) so thankyou for that <3

So! i hope youre all ok, i love you all dearly!
Stay safe! Keep eating (try) and enjoy your lifes!


Wednesday, 5 January 2011

hello hospital.

Firstly, i hope you all had a great new year! <3
My first post of 2011 right here! :)

over the holidays its been crap for me, i binged, and fasted alot.
ive lost more weight.
i wrote my councellor a 3 page letter saying how i feel and that i am discusting and fat.
i gave her it today during my review meeting.
Shes woried about my mental state (ive cut and tryed taking an overdose).
shes ringing me tomorrow morning to 'check up on me'.
i have to see a phyciatrist and her again before monday and she said its likley that i will be going into hospital.
Hmm. :/
i dont really know what to do, i want to go into hospital, so i can get better. i know i wont gain weight unless in forced. But im so scared of going back there! its horrile.
But i hope 2011 is the year i can get better.

Posotive Note - My new pointe shoes have been made and posted! they should be here soon! <3
But... i doubt theyll let me dance in hospital :(

Love you all