last time i updated i wasnt really sure about getting better and recovering. But thursday night the hospital let me go and see my college show. I cryed the whole way through it, and seeing my friends made me realise how much i was missing out on! when i was in the hospital i didnt care if i stayed in there for months, so if youre going into inpatient or are in inpatient. it really is important to keep intouch with the outside world! and youll realise that you really do want to get back into it! Ive been in inpatient almost 10weeks now. ive gained 1/2 stone so far and got a stone more to go (Im 38kg's or 83lbs and i have to get to 44kg's / 94lbs) and right now, i feel OK about gaining, im starting to feel like a completly different person! so if you are wanting to get better,i think inpatient may be the only possible way you can. well atleast i know for me it most certainly was! My next CPA meeting is on the 18th May, theyll either tell me im staying in for another 6 weeks or give me a discharge date. But im hoping that if i gain some more weight over the next 3 weeks i can discharge myself so i can start going back to college, or even go to ollege from the hospital!
I cant wait until im well and out again
i do feel so different! its amazing, and i was so scared of feeling different, or feeling like it was ok to eat! But it honestly isnt scary at all once you feel like it! i still have my foods that i cant eat, and it still takes me ages to eat meals! but i feel so much happier in my self its unbelivable!
So all i can say is, if youre petrified of getting better like i was, once youre on the way to recovery its not as bad as you think! i was really scared of knowing who i would be with out my ED and i didnt want tofind out to be honest. But im starting to find out, and i love who i am becoming! :D
